Fallen: The Song Fics
by BLFBH
Summary: DUDE IM BACK AND THIS TIME LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN! Anyway, Chptr 4: My Immortal
1. Hello

Fallen

This is a song-fic, yes, and it is a song, yes, by Evanescence. Did anyone predict me doing this? Hmm? Anybody? Well, anyway, I hope you guys like this. No, it isn't a single; it's track number nine on Fallen. It's kind of a slow, spooky, smooth track, with very long notes and such and long instrumentals, one reason why there are so little lyrics. This is the first song for a series of songs I will be making song-fics for, and I hope you like the first edition.

Disclaimer: I do not hold the rights to either Hey, Arnold, Evanescence, or "Hello".

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"Hello"

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Brrriiiiiinnnnng!

A great roar of hoorays exploded out of the P.S. 118 campus, as the students flooded into the recreational area. The boys attacked the foursquare court and the girls went straight to the swings and the tetherball quad. Now only laughter could be heard from the entire area, laughter from jokes, play, or humorous falls.

The near summer days were usually very hot, but a large cloud came to block the sunlight so that instead of squinting in the light, they could play in the cool shadows. It was the routine day, where the entire school could shake out all of the energy stored from the day's sit down lessons. It was a time for playing and enjoying yourself.

For others, it was a time, like all times, to scream out loud with the volume down.

__

Playground school bell rings again

Rain clouds come to play again

Has no one told you she's not breathing?

A young, blond girl stood of to the side, smiling at the other girls playing tag around the other playground equipment. She laughed at a red-headed boy she saw fall into a bucket of dirty water a janitor was using to clean the outside lunch region. Outside, she was everything she had strived to be. The girl everyone knew to stay away from, not to mess with, but still to talk to. She was in a social group (perhaps not a full-fledged member if you know what I mean) and looked happy most of the time. Other times she was laughing cruelly.

Inside, she was screaming for attention. Screaming for someone other than herself to talk seriously to; screaming for someone to say hello to her and mean it.

__

Hello, I am your mind.

Giving you someone to talk to

Hello

"Hey, Helga!" said a small girl with pale skin and dark hair. "Do you want a turn at the tetherball?"

Helga looked at Phoebe and frowned slightly, shaking her head. She looked at the ground, unfocused, and blinked. 

She wandered off to a corner that she spent a lot of time in recently, and she thought about why she smiled so much. It wasn't always a good smile; a sad smile, a hard smile, or the occasional good smile. Usually her grins meant nothing but what she wanted to show. They were more often than not taunting someone, during a moment of humiliation she would smile at them. She looked over to the jungle gym at a boy that she did it to the most.

It's funny that at these thoughts she wanted to smile, even though she didn't know why.

__

If I smile and don't believe…

"Because there is no reason," Helga whispered, thinking to herself. She smiled and breathed a little chuckle. "Are there any reasons when you dream?" No, she thought. Deep down, behind her consciousness, she knew that it wasn't a dream.

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Soon I know that I'll wake from this dream

Looking at the boy who had always tried to right her wrong, she remembered everyone who had worried about her because she seemed so sad. She always told them that she was fine, that nothing was wrong, or, her favorite, to leave her alone. There was nothing wrong with Helga Pataki. She just wasn't living the truth.

That's what made her sad. Nothing was wrong with her, and she knew that.

__

Don't try to fix me I'm not broken

Hello

I am the lie…

****

Isn't that just what I'm here for? asked herself. **_To be here so that you can talk to someone while I tell everyone you're silent?_**

Helga's eyes pulled open and she looked up at no one in particular. She gasped as the full realization that she wanted to be heard so badly was because she had always stayed silent. She pushed her lips together and got lost in her thoughts, comprehending exactly what that meant.

Now was one of those times when she became so sad.

__

Living for you so you can hide

Don't cry

"So that's why it's not a dream…" Helga stood up and ran into a shadow so that she could be even more alone to think. "That's why I'm screaming so much, and why I hope to be different so much."

She poked her head out of the corner to look at all of the kids her age, yet so different. They didn't even really know where she was, and it was her fault. Her fault that she was screaming at them to tell her she was right there.

But the opportunity for that was all ready gone for the day.

__

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping

Hello, I'm still here

All that's left of yesterday

Helga closed her eyes and hit her head against the building. Though the eyes were shut, her face shone with determination. "Go…away," she said quietly, yet forcefully. She squeezed her eyelids until tears began to form.

When she opened her eyes, she felt a need to look up. The rain clouds that had shaded the school had gone away, leaving a brilliant, though practically blinding, light to come down upon them. They all turned their heads at once in the direction of Helga, and it took them a while to finally notice her. When they did, they turned back to their games, adjusting to the new light.

Helga came back to the tetherball court where Phoebe and the rest of the girls of her class were hanging out. Phoebe turned around when she heard her walk up and questioned, "Where've you been?"

Helga smiled and shrugged. "No where special."

Phoebe lifted her eyebrow and shrugged. She returned to watching the game and Helga sat next to her.

Inside, Helga glared at the fleeting mind, the only thing she had ever had to talk to before. **Good-bye, **she called out.

It ends a little better than the song does, but hey, Helga's a strong girl. Plus, it really stinks. I know it's a short fic, but I think it's okay. Look out for the next part, a look at Everybody's Fool. Man, I've wanted to make that one for so freaking long that it'll be fun! I won't tell you guys, but I'll say that it's multi-point-of-viewed. Just tell me how you like it and it'll all be so much the better. Thank you!

You Gotta Love Her!

Briana Loves Football Head


	2. Everybody's Fool

Fallen

Demile: If you want to listen to the songs, go to the Evanescence homepage. They have copies of all the songs on there. About V-Day II, I'm working on it. I have a lot of different writing projects outside of FFN at the moment, though, so except for everything that's already almost done, it's going to take a while. This and the next chapter were already written, though. 

Wyldheart: Thanks a lot! It's another Evanescence fan! Anyway, I hope you like this one, too.

Oh, this is my favorite song on the disc! As soon as I heard it, I thought of the story line! This is a lot longer then "Hello", just to tell you. I gave it three points-of-views: Arnold, Helga, Lila (sorry for pulling down on her for all you Lila fans), and an author based view. I hope you all liked my last one. And, I know, I will finish one of my works SOON! I've had all of these since around December of 2002, but they're _sooooooo_ long and _soooooooo_ many! I've been working harder on my original works lately, though. Email me and I may give you a blurb. Well, this track is kind of aggressive, but it's one of my favorites on the disc! 

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to "Hey, Arnold," Evanescence, or "Everybody's Fool".

**_"Everybody's Fool"_**

The perfect person to show to anyone who was thinking about transferring schools. She made the best first impressions for anything. One look at her and automatically you would take a second, third look. She was simply the kind of person that you had to stare at to fully take in. Popular, smart, pretty, kind, and of course, funny, were all of her aspects to speak of. Faultless, startling green eyes. Gorgeous, wavy red hair. A voice as sweet as any. It's what made her a symbol of what everyone wanted to aspire to be.

She was someone to either love or hate. Almost everyone she met couldn't help but love her twinkling eyes.

_Perfect by nature_

_Icons of self-indulgence_

At least almost everyone did.

For example, Arnold couldn't help but fall under her spell, and neither could Stinky. Even some of the boys at the high school with girlfriends felt her charm whenever she walked by. She was perfect in everyway, and exactly what anyone could want to see everyday.

Well, some people didn't. The more realistic people didn't, at least.

Helga Pataki watched her walk down the hallway, smiling at no one in particular, carrying her binder under her arm. Rolling her eyes, Helga shut her open locker door and sighed very loudly. She turned her head to look down at Phoebe. "Why does everyone love her?" she asked, annoyed.

Phoebe shrugged. "Helga, you've got to admit that it's very hard not to admire her," she replied. She held her hand out toward the red head. "Just look at her. She has a sort of aura that people are attracted to."

"Pft." Helga blew a lock of hair out of her face in aggravation. "To everyone else, you mean."

Phoebe lifted her eyebrow and glanced at Helga. "I don't fully understand why you don't like her," she confessed.

"Yeah, well…" Helga trailed off, trying to think of a word her thoughts. "She's too perfect."

"Usually people tend to be attracted to perfection."

**Not me, **Helga thought bitterly. **Anyone smart would realize that the world isn't like her. It doesn't relate to her at all.**

_Just what we all need_

_More lies about a world that…_

"She… is so… beautiful."

"Uh, Arnold? Wipe your mouth, man."

Arnold stared at her as she walked through the packed hallway. He had stopped with Gerald as soon as she was within his sight. He moaned whiningly and looked at Gerald. "Why do you think she doesn't like me yet? All these years, and sometimes it looks like she might start to, but then she doesn't. It's like I'm not even there."

Gerald shook his head and smiled. "Man, Arnold," he said, "you are too romantic for you own good. Now I can't answer you that, dude." He patted him on the back. "Let's get to class."

Arnold and Gerald walked by Helga, who looked at him wistfully. Phoebe had headed off to class already, leaving Helga to dwell on her thoughts. She looked back over to her, who was now talking to Rhonda. She sighed contemplatively. Then she turned her thoughts to Arnold, who couldn't help but fall victim to her charisma. While he spent his time looking over to the gleaming, shining diamond, he never noticed anyone else… especially her.

Was she the only one who saw through her? Helga didn't know exactly what it was, but anything that happy and clueless was hiding something. If only she knew what. Then maybe she could do something about the pretty little green bug that haunted her windows.

_Never was and never will be_

_Have you no shame don't you see me?_

_Somehow you've got everybody fooled._

She smiled as she talked to her best friend, spinning her hair around her finger and nodding at the right moments. 

"So, the dance. Has anyone asked you yet?" Rhonda lifted her eyebrow and smiled.

"I think that George made it nine," she answered. She thought about it and then nodded. "Yeah, nine."

"Any… worthy candidates?" Rhonda asked, leaning in on her.

She laughed and shook her head. "No one that I'd like to go out with, yet. Not that any would be to horrid." She sighed and slouched to her right. "Of course Arnold's asked me. I just wish that he'd understand that I don't like him like that."

Rhonda chuckled and looked at her with slight amusement. "Come on, girl," she said. "Look around you. Everybody loves you. You are one of the most popular people in school. Why, I'd say that you almost reached **my** standards!"

She looked up at Rhonda, obviously confused. "What do you mean, 'everyone'?" She turned around to see almost everyone who walked by look at her. Sometimes it was a fleeting glance, but others gaped at her until their necks were craned too far. She turned around and shrugged. "I guess they do look at me a lot."

_Look, here she comes now_

_Bow down and stare in wonder_

_Oh how we love you…_

It was the night of the dance. She walked down her street with a dress in a dry cleaning bag slung over her shoulder. She hummed, obviously excited about her date. 

An older, homeless man walked in her direction with an old can of beans that was taken from a trashcan. She stopped to look at him. He came up to her and held out the can. "Please," he said, "be a kind soul." He was really shaken up and beaten.

She frowned sympathetically at the old man. She reached into her pocket and pulled out two dollars. She placed them in the cup and pulled her hand out. "I wish you good luck, just ever so much," she said sweetly. She continued walking. 

She looked over her shoulder to make sure the man was gone. She unclenched her hand and revealed a ten-dollar bill. She smirked and looked at it with a strange sort of pride. She went on to her house.

It was a good thing no one talks to me that much, she thought, because then they'd see this. She shrugged. "Oh, well." She walked into her still run-down house with a skip in her step.

_No flaws when you're pretending_

A gasp came from the alley next to her house. Helga ran out from behind a trash can and looked at the stoop that she had just stood on. She smiled, looking shocked, disgusted, and happy all at the same time. "Man, Phoebe. I've gotten some nasty stuff, but nothing as horrid as that!" She lifted her hand, which held a video camera.

Phoebe emerged from behind the trashcan Helga just came from with her hand over her mouth. "I can't imagine anything more foul than that!" she said, appalled. "But if what you've been saying these past two weeks is true, than she really is a beastly person! How she can hide it…"

_But now I know she_

_Never was and never will be_

_You don't know how you've betrayed me_

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

"… is a mystery to me."

"Yeah, but now we can prove it!" Helga cried triumphantly, holding up the camera. "The big screen on the stage will be playing slides as the band plays. I just have to get Brainy to put this in the VCR and the entire school will she her with out her mask!"

Phoebe looked troubled and rubbed her arm. "It seems so cruel," she whispered, "but what she's done to that man, her classmates, and even Arnold is repulsive. Do what you must, Helga."

!@#$%^&*()_+{}:"?

Arnold drank from his cup of punch. "Good thing it wasn't a couples only dance," he said.

Gerald, with his hand wrapped around Phoebe's waist, rolled his eyes. "She's turned you down so much, Arnold. I know you practically love this girl, but you get too disappointed about it. Just have fun tonight, man."

Arnold thought for two seconds and then nodded in agreement, saying, "Yeah, Gerald, you're right. I won't let that pull me down tonight. Besides, Forte is playing tonight. I heard their background slides are some of the best."

"Yeah, some of the best all right," mumbled Phoebe, looking at the floor.

Gerald looked at her with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing at all," she said.

!@#$%^&*()_+{}:"?

"You look great tonight."

"Thank you so much."

"Uh… how do I look?"

"Great!"

She leaned in closer to her date, a football player. "I really like you, Brad."

Brad smiled as they danced to the slow song. "I really like you, too. Maybe we could head somewhere else after the dance?"

She was just about to respond when Helga appeared next to him. "Hey, bucko," she said, "mind if I cut in?"

Brad looked at her reprovingly, and then shrugged. "Uh, whatever," he said, and ventured off to the snack table.

She looked at Helga angrily as Helga moved slightly to the beat. "What was that for?" she asked her.

Helga sneered at her and whispered, "You're not going to be able to hide yourself forever, Miss. Perfect." When she got a response from her, a questioning look, she continued cheerfully. "Don't worry. Everyone, especially Arnold, will see your true colors soon!"

"What are you talking about," she asked naively, but Helga had already gone away, twirling around. She was left to wonder what she meant by her mysterious message. Her eyes widened and she tried to find Helga in the crowd. "Wait!"

_Without the mask_

_Where will you hide?_

_Can't find yourself…_

She couldn't find her, so she just stood there, fretting over what she didn't know would happen. Wondering what Helga was going to do to her. Whatever it was, she feared it. No one ever noticed that she wasn't… something.

_Lost in your lies_

"So, all you've got to do is put in there, hit play, and turn the volume up and the microphones down while Undecided plays, right?"

"Uh… yeah, Helga."

"Great. Thanks so much, Brainy!" Helga pulled out a fine dollar-bill and handed it to Brainy. "Whatever you say, just keep it, Brainster. Do it right, okay?"

Brainy nodded and took the video and bill from Helga's hand. He smiled. "I… uh, got it," he said.

Helga walked away with a mischievous gleam in her eye. This was a plan considering her victim that might actually work.

She walked over to the wall where Arnold was leaning, jerking his head to the music and watching Gerald and Phoebe dance. She took her place on the wall next to him, smiling. He leaned over curiously and asked her, "What are you doing here?"

"Can't a person stand off to the sidelines to watch her friend dance?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure she can," he replied, turning back to the couple. His face perked up and his eyes twinkled. Helga, not surprised, looked in his visual direction to see her enemy of the night walking up to them.

"Hey," she said, sweetly as ever.

"Hey," Arnold said nervously. "What's up? Where's your date?"

"Bathroom," she said dismissively. She turned to Helga and said, "Helga, what did you mean-"

"Oh, look," Helga said cheerfully. She pointed to the stage. "Undecided is coming on." In fact, four female teens were coming onto the stage and taking their places at their instruments. A blond girl walked up to the microphone and said, "Hello, Hillwood High!"

A cheer erupted from the students below the stage.

"I hope you guys like us, because we'll be playing all night," aid the blond. She looked back to band mates and nodded. They started playing. 

Immediately, a black slide came on saying 'Lila'. Helga leaned her head to face her, smiling. "True colors," she said.

Lila looked at her in a fury.

A Hispanic girl on the bass looked off stage and said, "What's up with our slides?" But they mini movie continued.

First, it showed Lila pointing at a girl with glasses who had tripped and smashed them. She was looking for her books as students walked by. Lila covered her hand with her mouth, stifled a laugh, and walked on.

Next it showed the scene with Lila and the homeless man. Lila's mouth dropped as the screen zoomed in on the ten dollars in her hand that she'd stolen from the man.

The next scene was one from a very long time ago, about three years when they were in the seventh grade. Arnold had just walked away from Lila, with a look of pride on hi s face. Lila rolled her eyes and said, with the speakers up to their full blast, "Arnold, he's just ever so naïve. At least this mall trip will buy me a couple of shirts if I play my cards right. Four years and he still hasn't caught me. Hmm."

Arnold gasped and looked over to Lila. She turned her head uneasily to face him. Arnold looked at her in despair. Then he turned back to the screen with the same look everyone else had: anger.

It showed more and more of Lila being cruel, uncaring, and plotting. It did show some of her being nice at the end, but it only let the students wonder what she was pretending then. The entire school just saw Lila for her real side.

Helga looked at Lila and smirked. "Well, at least we know you're as good of an actor as a singer," she said, not helping at all.

Arnold looked at Lila just as everyone else did. He looked pained. "I can't believe you," he said. "How could that be true?"

Lila didn't say anything. She just looked around at everyone, her friends, her fans, and her worshippers. She bit her lip and ran. The crowd cut to let her pass, staring at her in a new kind of wonder. That or they didn't want to touch her new reality. She ran out of the auditorium to leave them all.

_I know the truth now_

_I know who you are_

_And I don't love you anymore_

_It never was and never will be_

_You don't know how you've betrayed me_

_And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

Arnold turned to Helga and asked, "Did you do that?" He pointed to the stage, where the video had stopped playing and the four musicians stood, looking at each other in mystification.

Helga nodded, feeling even a little sorry for Arnold. "Yeah, I did."

Arnold bit his lip and nodded. "Well, thanks. You showed me that she wasn't perfect after all." He sighed and hit his football head on the wall. "Man, but I really thought that was her!" he exclaimed.

"Her what?" asked Helga. Now she was getting a little annoyed, but it was hard to in that tense room. Everybody was talking amongst himself or herself, and Forte had started playing an instrumental while the room recomposed.

Arnold held out his hand and flexed it in stress, finally moving it to his head. "I don't know. I thought she was the one. Everyone in the movies always talks about the perfect girl, and I thought Lila was the perfect girl."

It was Phoebe's turn to speak, though she did it timidly. "The perfect girl or your perfect girl?"

"Yeah, man, you can't expect a girl to be completely perfect. If you do, then you'll grow up very lonely," Gerald said, patting Arnold on the back. "Though it is a disappointment."

Helga smiled at Arnold and said, "Well, at least now people will believe me when I say Lila's a sniveling, dirty animal. She couldn't help anybody, Arnold. Just herself." She spat in her empty cup of punch. "At least we're not all fools anymore, right?"

Arnold sighed sadly. "Yeah, we're not," he admitted.

_Never was and never will be_

_You're not real and you can't save me_

_And somehow now you're everybody's fool._

I think I did a good job. Oh, yeah, and guess who the blond was? Yeah, it was me, it was so me! And yeah, that was the band I'm about to start. I can use all the publicity I can get, man. Anyway, I hope you all liked it. I got it from the stupid Cheese Fair, where she's all like "I can't swim!" "I'm allergic, but please, please get me a teddy bear while I make pouty faces." Anyway, review and I'll now what you think! Wait, now, for "Taking Over Me", okay?

You Gotta Love Her!

Briana LFBH


	3. Taking Over Me

Fallen

Here's the third installment. Okay, I thought about it, and, yes, indeed, Helga is going to have a huge influence on most of these songs. I just feel like they fit her in so many ways, except for "Everybody's Fool". That was a big Lila and Arnold one. Anyway, this one is the eighth track on the disc. I absolutely love this, and I can completely fit this in with Helga more than any other one. It's an amazing song, very powerful, but sweet. I hope you enjoy!

_"Taking Over Me"_

She walked down the hallway swiftly, strongly, and forcefully. A way in the hallway parted for her to walk through. She glared, she showed her pride and anger, at any given time. It was who she was: Helga G. Pataki. She was tough, could handle anything, was strong, and didn't take anything from anyone.

Helga caught someone glaring at her from the corner of her eye. She met his gaze and challenged him silently. He backed off. It was someone about her age, but she didn't know him.

Then came the classic scene.

She was looking in the other direction as she walked down the hallway. This time she didn't even have to turn. He walked right into her, dropping her books and, well, her. 

Positioning herself on her elbows, she opened her eyes and was surprised to see Arnold directly in front of her. She shook her head and pounced up to her feet. "What do you think you're doing, Arnold?" she shrieked. 

Arnold dusted himself up and knelt on his knee to pick up his books. "Walking," he sighed. "I'm sorry, Helga, I should've looked where I was going."

"Yeah, you bet you need to watch where you're going," she said boldly, leaning in on him. After that, he walked away. She couldn't help but notice that he wasn't as talkative to her as he used to be, as if it was all becoming too predictable, too obvious, too emotionless. Of course, she knew why. She had, most of her life, said the exact same words whenever they literally bumped into each other. 

Of course he would start to forget that she wasn't all bad. It was so long ago. There wasn't anyway that Helga could forget Arnold, though. Heck, she reflected, he's never even out of my thoughts.

**I wonder how often I'm in his, and he's not mad at me?**

_You don't remember me _

_But I remember you_

Later that day, she lie on her back, trying to get an early night's sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, though, his picture appeared. She had to keep opening them again, trying to burn the sight out. Even though he provided so much comfort, he provided so much pain.

She turned over and flipped on her clock radio. Maybe some music would rock her to sleep.

An hour she played her music, continuing thinking about her love. She rolled her eyes in annoyance. She loved him with her whole heart, but wished so for a peaceful slumber.

She could never sleep. She didn't want dreams of him every night. No matter how hard she tried, though, she would always have at least one Arnold fantasy in her dreams.

She would run scenes from movies, music videos, and TV shows she liked, trying to install those into her subconscious for dreams. However, she would always fail. She sighed. Why didn't she have any control over her feelings? Loving Arnold was such a wonderful thing. Why did it keep her up?

_I lie awake and try so hard_

_Not to think of you_

_But who can decide what they dream_

_And dream I do…_

She never wished that she didn't love Arnold. She was completely devoted to him, and it would never waver. Wherever he went, she was always near or longed to be near. Even though he didn't know anything about her, anything about it, she knew everything about him. All of his traits, good and bad. All of faults and perfections. She couldn't help but simply adore him and love him.

She leaned out of her bed and walked barefoot and the wooden floor to her closet. She pulled down on a string and an overhead light came on, revealing a very old, oblong clay mask. She pulled out a journal from a small bookcase built into the wall. Tonight she wouldn't write anything, but she would overlook many of her previous works.

Arnold. The very name sent chills up her spine, tightening up every one of her senses. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you," she said to no one in particular, but it was about Arnold. "I'd probably lose my sanity. I'd probably just get swallowed up whole in my act, not knowing where to turn." She blinked and kept back tears not of sorrow but of some unknown sentiment that could battle out love.

She stood up, stuffed the journal back into its spot, and turned out the light. She went back to her bed and slept peacefully, with dreams of Arnold. He was completely invading her mind, and she didn't know if it was excellent or horrible.

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live to breath_

_You're taking over me_

It was the next day, and Helga was walking down the hallways again. For some reason, she didn't feel like showing off that day. She stayed silent and invisible. A premonition that something would happen caused her silence that day.

Oh, how right she was.

She walked by Arnold and two of his friends. She glanced up at the same moment that Arnold did. "Hey," he said quietly. It was a friendly gesture, but Helga saw beyond it. Now it was a routine thing, and that was all she and he saw it as. The look in his eyes was completely alien. No wondering, no suspicions about her. Not even caring how she would respond because he knew how. No reminiscence of any past friendship (or at least companionship).

Helga didn't respond. She was shocked at what she had seen. He had completely forgotten her, all the good in her.

She walked on, not saying anything harsh at all. But she overheard what they said after she left.

"She can be so annoying sometimes," said one. "You were once her friend?"

"Yeah, I guess," Arnold said tentatively. "I mean, I think we were, at least. She was always a pain, but, I don't know, I guess not."

"Well, that made sense," said the other, laughing.

Then she knew for sure. He had left her. Forgotten all of the important things they'd done together, spoken about, and what he had once thought of her.

_Have you forgotten all I know_

_And all we had?_

She couldn't take the rush of it all. It broke her heart. She tried to maintain herself, but sooner than she expected she broke down. She ran out of the hallway and into a small nook in the hallway that no one ever went into except janitors. There, she broke down crying. "No," she moaned. "Arnold, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't want you to forget about me before now." She was hysterical, leaning against the wall. She fell to the floor and curled up, grabbing her knees. "I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to let you forget about all of my good."

She forgot how close to Arnold's locker the nook was. Even in the shadows, he saw someone curled up. Before approaching, he listened. Nobody saw him. They were all too busy running to their friends, getting to class, trying to open their lockers. But he saw and heard everything that Helga was spilling to no one.

"I'm sorry Arnold," she sobbed. She couldn't control her breathing or gasps. She tried to wipe away her tears of grief. "Please think about me. I didn't want you to leave me or forget me. Doesn't he remember all the times I was good, all the times he saw me good, and everything he thought about me? Doesn't he remember that it's all true?" She buried her head into the space between her knees, mourning. She began to sing a song in her tears. 

"Remember me when you're gone, because I still love you, don't you know? I can be your superhero if you just ask me to. If you know me then you know from long ago-"

"That I still know you, too."

Helga gasped and looked up. Arnold was leaning on the corner of the nook, smiling. He had sung the last part of the verse

She sniffed and wiped her tears quickly, standing up. She crossed her arms and tried to look tough. "What was that for?"

"You were crying," Arnold said. "Not to mention that the song wasn't true at all…"

Helga snorted. "Excuse me?"

Arnold shrugged and looked at the floor ashamedly. "Okay, so maybe it is, kind of. But I didn't mean for it to be, Helga. Don't feel bad about it. Besides, you just reminded me of how I shouldn't have." He walked up to her and gave her a gentle, hesitant hug.

"It's my fault anyway," Helga muttered. But she let her headrest on his shoulder. She would take all the comfort from him that she could muster. **Forget my pride. This is awkward enough for me to not take advantage of it.** But she knew that this was genuine, and somehow, even though she knew that this was incredibly chick-flick-y, she liked it.

At first Helga seemed grateful for the comfort, but then she shook her head, as if shaking off the feeling. "Wait a minute," she said. "How much of that did you just hear, anyway?"

Arnold smiled sheepishly, but knew that it may not be appropriate, so he swiped it off quickly. He said, "Er, all of it, actually."

Helga looked down and there was a hiatus in time. Finally, she whispered with all of her might, "It was all true, really." She blinked away tears and urged them to the pit of her stomach. "I r-really do… you know… feel that way about you, no matter how weird it is. Sometimes...you know… uh… it's very deep and, uh, personal, and… even though I've been messing with you for a very, very, very long time, I do care for you, you know." In her mind she was saying so much more, though. So much more.

_You saw me mourning my love for you_

_And touched my hand_

_I knew you loved me then_

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

Arnold winced a little, not knowing what to say. "Yeah, I figured that," he replied. "No biggie, though. 

Helga blew out of her mouth loudly, making a loose strand of hair fly up. **This is royal**, she thought. "I guess you think I'm a freak-o then, huh?" she finally said. "Breaking down after how I-"

"Don't even start Helga," Arnold interrupted. "I'm going to ignore the... absolute weirdness of this whole ordeal and start over."

Helga was about to respond when she realized something. "Hey, Arnold," she said. "The bell rang. There's nobody out in the hall."

He turned around to see the deserted halls. "You need to get to class," said Helga. "I'll be fine. You… you need to go now."

Shaking his head in objection, he said, "No, I won't."

"Arnold, listen to me for one freaking moment right now, okay?" she said sternly. She hit Arnold on the shoulder lightly and pointed out into the hallway. "Go! I'm okay." 

Arnold said, "Okay, then. Just at least go to the restroom and wash up, okay?" he asked. **Man, this is uncomfortable.**

"Fine, whatever, just go before you get in trouble!"

He couldn't help but smirk. "Are you concerned, Helga?" he asked, trying to hide his laugh.

Her eyes rolled. **God, why does he have to do this to me? **"Shut up, Arnold. You said yourself that you were going to start fresh, so start fresh and go."

Arnold finally left. He ran down the hallway, books in hand, and rushed into his classroom. Once gone, Helga tired up again, but she smiled. "Oh, Arnold, now what am I going to do?" she asked. "This stinks and is wonderful at the same time. How should I respond to this? I don't know. Okay, Helga, just take it slow. Ride with it." Still, it was a drastic change in her feelings. She never expected him to appear. It was like a movie.

She did as she was told and went to the nearest bathroom. Looking in the mirror she noticed how red and puffy her face was. She ran some water from the sink and wiped her face with a damp paper towel. She looked up. Now her face was red, puffy, and very wet. She tossed the towel into the trashcan, giving up on clearing her face.

Instead, she turned back to the mirror and stared at her reflection, at her blond hair, her blue eyes, her black and pink shirt. She spent most of her attention looking into her eyes.

She understood why Arnold felt weird. Heck, she felt beyond disturbed and she knew that she loved him, whereas he didn't have this advantage beforehand. 

Her mind drifted off to him, and she thought about things that she had never thought of before: their similarities. Usually she would only think of how different he was and glorify that, so realizing the many things was a shock.

They were both wise beyond their years, even if she concealed it well. They both needed good qualities in a friend before completely trusting them, even if he had many that were acceptable to him. No matter how much either denied it, though, they both had messed up home lives, Helga's a little more so. 

They both loved the arts, even if Arnold had a more scientific viewpoint of it. She supposed that the two of them were actually exceptionally smart. They both had big dreams for something, even if they were different.

She had to look deep inside herself, but somehow all of these resemblances came easily to her mind. It was like they had been sitting there all along. She saw it, but the full impact never came in. They were so much alike, yet so different.

Helga smiled. All she had to do was share these things with Arnold. Maybe it would change something. At least Helga had something more to do than hero worship him. It felt good. But she couldn't help but think that loving Arnold, paying so much attention to him, is what made some of these traits more prominent than they would have been.

She held her hand up to the cool glass. Today was horrible, but all stories end with someone happy. She was lucky enough for it to be her. She loved Arnold. He knew about it, and in some cosmic way, promised to look inside her. 

_I look in the mirror and see your face_

_If I look deep enough_

_So many things inside that are_

_Just like you are taking over_

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you _

_To live_

_To breathe_

_You're taking over me!_

She left the restroom, feeling considerably better than before the day had started. "What period is it?" She asked. She didn't know how long she was in that restroom, or if anyone had ever even walked. She checked her watch, determined it to be fifth period, and went to her locker to get her things.

Things would be a lot different after that day.

It was all a mystery to her exactly what was going on in the equally confusing link between her and him. All she knew was that it was stronger from her to him. He had become more of a part of her.

Vice versa? Who knows?

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

_(Taking over me)_

_You're taking over me!_

I hope you liked this. It took me forever to get the storyline to flow neatly to match the words! If it was a little choppy, forgive me, the song has absolutely no order to it that I could determine, so I made one up. I hope you all like it! Look out for the next episode, everybody's favorite, "My Immortal". Well, mine, at least. ~Waits for response~ No one else's? ~Silence~ Oh… okay… ~Shuffles of, head down, off screen~ 

You Gotta Love Her!

Briana Loves Football Head (and you should, too!)


	4. My Immortal

Fallen: The Song Fics 

Yes, I'm going to have an insane rambling of guilt before every updated chapter. Okay? I'M SO SORRY I LEFT YOU DEAREST SONG-FIC! In case any of you haven't noticed, I like song fics. Oodles of bunches. This is like my seventh song-fic. SO BE HAPPY FOR ME, YAH? And, uh, by the way… Vday2, I swear I had the next chapter, but it was one I'd already posted. Through the Compact Disc is on a computer w/o internet or floppy discs, stupid idiotic me, as is Explanations. So all I've got for now is this.

Okay, so, if you haven't heard THIS song, then shame on you! This one is "My Immortal", numbers 4 and 12 on the CD. (Number 12 is the version with guitars, drums, and the annoying beeping sound that makes you think your cell phone is ringing the first thrity times you hear it.) And if anyone has any ideas for ANY Evanescence song - not just from Fallen - that could maybe work away from Helga, I'd appreciate it. So far I've got "Solitude" on the list, thanks Bling W/O the Shine.

Disclaimer: "My Immortal" and any other songs on Fallen are the sole property of Evanescence and Wind-Up Entertainment, Inc. Hey, Arnold belongs to Craig Bartlett, Nickelodeon, and Viacom, and any other people I've forgotten.

"My Immortal" 

"Badly" wasn't a strong enough word to express her want, her need. Dreadfully, severely, and critical were much better definitions. But could she? No. No, she couldn't, she didn't want to, and now she was going to lose her chance forever. Maybe not forever, who was she to guess on fate, but she knew it would be just too long.

"You're MOVING?" Sid had exclaimed earlier that day.

Arnold shrugged sadly. "In about one or two weeks. My parents were found by a group of archaeologists and were brought back to America. They're living in southern California, and I'm going to live with them. Trust me, I asked them so badly for them to move into the boarding house, but they had already bought the house and everything before I knew. I'm going to live with them, it's what I've wanted all my life!"

Helga had skipped school for the rest of the day. She hid out in the playground, and if anyone came outside she hid behind the dumpsters. Thinking without Mr. Simmons's dramatic lectures during lessons was much easier.

She fingered the golden locket she always kept hidden under her shirt, looking at it, but almost looking through it. She was seeing him well enough in her head. She had to tell him, she just had to now that he was going away forever. He'd promised to visit during vacations and write everyone. She was pretty sure she wasn't going to be included in that, and even if he would, would she reply?

It was all so stupid. Why couldn't she just come out and say that she loved him, huh? It wasn't like it would shock her too much if he didn't like her back. The real surprise would be if he actually did! Of course, she was scared to death of spilling her guts out. It made sense in her head if he wouldn't return the feelings, but her heart wanted it so badly that any rejection would rip it out. It was all so very stupid, and she was sick to her bones of being scared. Her classmates always, at one point or another, told their crushes they liked them. But did she? No. She kicked the fence, the other wall that hid her besides the dumpster, in frustration.

Arnold was moving away. Probably far away, but it didn't matter where. He was going to be gone for a long time, if not forever. If you looked at it, though, he didn't exactly have a choice. The family he'd never known, that he'd thought had gone forever, or this dumb place. He had to leave, and Helga knew that even if she did make a confession, that wouldn't change a thing. "The best thing for the both of us," Helga whispered, "would be for him to get it over with and leave." She banged her head against the dumpster and sighed. No matter how much she didn't like it, it was true.

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all of my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

When he left, she knew everyone would still talk about him constantly, and she would never really stop thinking about her love. It would be like he'd never left, save his body. Everyone would still talk to him via letters, phone calls, email, and everyone would still ask him for advice, and everyone would still think twice about what the saint Arnold would do. None of that was important to her, though. That's what everyone else would do. Gerald would find a new best friend, eventually. Helga, on the other hand, would never find a new love. In her mind, he'd never really leave. And in time, she knew it would drive her mad, but it was all she could have now that he was going.

_Because your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

She wiped the moisture that had started to gather in her eyes away and stood up, tucking away her locket. In a few minutes the final bell would ring and she could be seen without getting into too much trouble. As if she cared. Five minutes later the bell rang and she ran up to the door and entered the school. She passed through the lockers quickly, spotting Arnold and Gerald at their partnering lockers. She caught a bit of the conversation.

"… stay at the boarding house?"

"Yeah, but just for a little bit, then we're all moving to California."

"Man, Arnold, I'm gonna miss you."

"I bet some people won't, though."

She hurried past them, having to yell, "Move aside, out of my way," to a number of people. As if that was out of the ordinary for her. She couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't shed a tear since she found out about it, even though she'd wanted to ever since. She cut her way through the halls and made it to the girl's restroom at the end of the hall. People rarely used it to her knowledge.

It was horrible, the way she was feeling. He was as good as gone to her, and she wanted him back. Even if she never told him how she felt, she needed him to stay in Hillwood. She probably never would tell him, anyway. How could she after how she'd fractured their relationship so much? If he moved, it would eat her up inside. The image of time healing itself made her sick. The longer he was gone wouldn't help at all. She wouldn't be able to stand life without him. It was a reoccurring nightmare. Days without his face, without his corny looking hair, without his goody-two-shoe advice…

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

She slumped against a wall and stared into empty space for a while. All of the things she'd been mulling over for the past few days rose in her mind, about to explode. So many questions she asked herself. How would he remember her? What could she do to change the lost opportunities? Would he remember the constant mockery, or would reminiscences of their better moments live on? Oh, they were there. Helga knew fully well. Uncharacteristically she could come out and sooth Arnold in some of his worst experiences. And somehow she knew that if it weren't for her, Arnold would probably have been beaten to a pulp a number of times…. Hey, she only ever threatened! Somehow, in the solitude of the room and with these light comforting thoughts, she cracked a smile. Maybe, if she were nice enough, he would at least remember her better.

That still didn't change the fact that he would still remember the bad times. But what could she do? She'd been okay, and that was what she would focus on. Okay.

And through all of the good things she'd occasionally done for him, he still wasn't affected as much as her. She was in love with him, and he was… not.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have all of me_

"Go long!" shouted Gerald, aiming the football for the distant Sid and Eugene.

Eugene flailed his arms out in the most un-athletic manner and cried, "I've got it! Throw it here! I've got it!" Gerald shot his arm forward and the football soared toward the pair. Eugene jumped to get it, but Sid easily reached ahead and caught it in his arms. Eugene frowned for a second, kicked the dirt, but was then as excited as ever.

From the stands of the Hillwood Middle football field, a group of seventh graders sat watching the stragglers of the game mess around with their friends. Among them were Helga, Phoebe, Sheena, and Nadine, along with some newer friends. Helga, Phoebe, and a girl named Morgan were off to the side, playing a card game and every now and then watching what was left of the team.

"Mustard," said Helga, grinning evilly.

Morgan blinked, confused. "What does that mean?"

"It means she played a different card than she said," Phoebe said, glaring at Helga. "I knew I should've called B.S."

Helga chuckled. "Tough luck, pal. Your turn." Helga watched over her hand as Morgan played what were supposedly two nines. Too bad she knew three nines had already been played. She was about to call it when she heard a cry from the field. She looked up and all of the boys had gathered around in the circle. Gerald seemed excited about something. She shrugged and went on with the game.

"B.S." she said. Morgan's face fell and she pulled the large stack of cards to her.

Phoebe was still looking out at the field with the familiar curious expression. Helga snapped in her face, saying, "Phoebe, your turn. Tens." She continued staring though, and cocked her head to the side. "I wonder what that's about," Phoebe mused.

"Don't know, don't care, just play."

Phoebe turned back to her hand and placed a card on the bleacher. The game continued. Finally, she said, "Helga, you know what today is, don't you?"

"Yeah. Tuesday the ninth. Why?"

Phoebe shook her head. "No, not that. What happened three years ago?"

Helga searched her mind but came up empty. "I don't know," she replied. She turned around and cried out, "Hey Mark! Come here!"

A boy looked up from his group and ran over to Helga. He sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "What's up?" he said.

"Helga!" Phoebe said. Helga looked up, almost surprised at her sharp tone of voice. "You really don't remember what happened three years ago?" Helga shook her head. "Wow." Phoebe stared, stricken at the spot. "How could you possibly forget such an occasion? Last year it was all you would talk about."

Helga rolled her eyes. "Look, Phoebe, could you just tell me what today is?"

Phoebe smiled. "It's the anniversary of Arnold's move."

"Who?" asked Mark, still holding Helga. Helga didn't hear, though. Unconsciously her mouth dropped. Phoebe was right, how could she forget? After all of these years… well, technically, three years wasn't a lot, but for her dragged on ages. The thought of Arnold used to bring a kind of bittersweet joy in her heart. Now, it was a sour idea. She still longed for Arnold, even in the arms of Mark. But it was all she could stand to not scream how much she missed him, how much she rued the day he left, for it caused her so much grief. To be stuck in the hollow places he used to be, and carry the memories without any relief.

She sunk back into Mark's arm and simply said, "Oh. Well that's interesting."

_You used to captivate me by your resonating mind_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

That night she lay awake in the darkness of her room. A couple of minutes after the awful revelation, Gerald had run up the stands to announce the thing she had waited three years to happen. The voices still rang in her head. Gerald pounding up the bleachers, waving his arms around. Panting, he said, "Guess what! Arnold is coming back!" Half of the people on the bleachers didn't know who he was, but the others all squealed. When? Oh, he told us when. "Two weeks! He's coming to stay! They found a house here."

Now she couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was his face. Every blink and a fresh memory unearthed itself. Helga groaned in frustration and kicked the covers off of her. She slept in her clothes. So, to get rid of her frustration quietly without awaking anyone, was to rip her clothes off angrily.

She fell to the floor half nude and started to shake with repressed sobs. How could he do this to her? It was driving her up a wall! What was she going to do when he came back? What would she say? What would she do about Mark? She pulled her hair and fought down the urge to scream as loud as she possibly could.

It took a few minutes for her to calm down and put her shirt and jeans back on. It was cold. She stood up, feeling full of energy yet so mentally exhausted.

This was almost worse than when he'd left.

_Your face it haunts _

_My once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have all of me_

One day left until he was back home.

How could this have such a completely opposite feeling on her mind than it would have three years ago? At first she wanted with all her heart to come back. Now she wished she'd just forgotten about him entirely. She was so frustrated she had to break up with Mark, who was still confused as to why.

Then, finally, the day came.

They would be arriving on a train, and Helga had decided to join the welcome wagon. Some people had huge banners up with WELCOME BACK ARNOLD written on them. She looked around and almost laughed. Arnold was even more popular than anyone had realized before.

Ten minutes until he would be here.

Helga was starting to get cold feet. She looked at her watch twice every thirty seconds now. She shouldn't be here. She didn't know what it would do to her. But if he was going to be staying forever now, shouldn't she get this over with?

Yeah, but maybe tomorrow.

She ran to the restrooms and locked herself in a stall, breathing heavily. She hit the wall angrily. "What the hell is wrong with me?" she asked herself.

It had taken her this long to get over him… and now he was back. How stupid.

She waited on the floor of the bathroom for twenty minutes until she was certain that Arnold had arrived and had already left. She opened the door of her stall slowly and walked outside. No one was there. She sighed and knelt over the fountain to get a drink to calm her frazzled nerves.

"Helga? Is that really you?"

Helga started to choke on the water. She rose coughing, hitting her chest. No way, no way, no way, not here, especially not alone, not now. She twisted around and saw Arnold… who looked very hot now.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She nodded robotically. He smiled. "Wow, I can't believe it's you. You look so different."

Helga fought down the urge to blush and sock him at the same time.

"Are you going to get pizza with us?"

"I thought you would be gone by now… I got here kind of late," said Helga.

Arnold rolled his eyes. "Well, our train was a little late. Anyway, I have to go back and help my parents with luggage." He smiled at her one last time and left.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

He didn't even know how much she'd been put through because of him. She watched him walk back to wherever his parents were. She had a curiosity to meet them, but she was sure she would when they got to the pizza place.

"No hard feelings, apparently," she whispered, sticking her hands in her pockets and walking away from the station.

Obviously, no matter where he was, if she never told him, she'd still feel alone. And she probably would never be over him, really. The kid drove her insane.

_But you still have_

_All of me_

TADA! More updates to come, guys. YAY IVE GOTTEN AN UPDATE STARTED WOOT!

BrianaLFBH


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